shes about as inviting as chlamydia
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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