Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
