i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
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