You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
