Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
