im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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