Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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