Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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