check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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