Pappa wants mamma naked
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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