i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
