I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
