I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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