is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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