I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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