He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
