I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
