Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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