Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
