I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
