I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
