exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
