Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
