That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
