Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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