he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
