i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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