I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
