Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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