WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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