yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
