gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
