Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
