She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
