I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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