i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
my liver is dry heaving
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
