I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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