hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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