Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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