Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She's the barista slut.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
