so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize