You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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