It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
