weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Terrible idea I love it
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
