he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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