Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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