4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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