im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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