Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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