I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I got her a Nickelback box set.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
