if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
