It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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