Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
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I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
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he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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