you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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