A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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