He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm just crazy horny about you
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
