well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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