I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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