OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
