I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
