you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
