To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
