we made out on top of his cat.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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