I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
