At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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